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Oh, the Troubles I've Seen
The Life and Times of Michael
Created on 2004-07-12 23:05:56 (#3793056), last updated 2009-05-11
3,655 comments received, 2,856 comments posted
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426 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 12 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | hrhmsh |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1980-02-03 |
| Location: | Iowa City, Iowa, United States |
BioBorn during the sole snow storm of the 1979-1980 winter, my mom traveled to the hospital in an ambulance. The hospital was an hour away on a clear day. I grew up in a town so small the cattle outnumbered the residents. Between November 1983 and March 1990, four siblings - Josh, Emily, Erin, and Matt - entered my life. I considered them plagues sent to ruin my life and split my inheritance for two decades. Maturity must have occured because I began and continue to like them.
I spent the first 21 years of my life in the great - if not all that exciting - state of Kansas. I managed to graduate from kindergarten, eighth grade, high school and the University of Kansas (yes, there were ceremonies for the first two). I'd brag about being valedictorian in both eighth grade and high school except that my class consisted of 33 peers, of which several classmates' mental capacity was exceeded by Terry Schaivo's. I majored in political science, getting fat, and being a closet-case in college, but I did manage to do it in three years. Right before my undergraduate days ended, I changed my career plans formulated in the second grade: no law school. I took the GRE in a drunken haze in the middle of my final fall semester finals.
Eight months later I found myself in northwest Ohio in a town were drinking establishments outnumbered the residents (it was a step up from cattle). In the next two years I met three best friends, vomited in 8 different bars, and told a bouncer he had a "poor man's job." I went to class and read and wrote papers to be rewarded with my fifth diploma. After 18 years of formal education and 23 years of being a parasite on my parents' income, they insisted I get a job. I stumbled into one in Oregon. They were dumb enough to offer; I was dumb enough to accept. Some days I think the move to the Pacific northwest was one of my more intelligent "life decisions", but I have thought to myself more than once, "What the fuck were you thinking moving out here?!?!"
Now I spend my days listening to Dolly Parton, looking in the mirror, text messaging while driving, and contemplating what to do with my remaining years. Maybe I'll get my Ph.D. and then be a stay-at-home dad. Or maybe I'll accept Oprah's marriage proposal. Or maybe I'll write the great American novel.
Oh, and somewhere along the way, my mom made me gay.
I spent the first 21 years of my life in the great - if not all that exciting - state of Kansas. I managed to graduate from kindergarten, eighth grade, high school and the University of Kansas (yes, there were ceremonies for the first two). I'd brag about being valedictorian in both eighth grade and high school except that my class consisted of 33 peers, of which several classmates' mental capacity was exceeded by Terry Schaivo's. I majored in political science, getting fat, and being a closet-case in college, but I did manage to do it in three years. Right before my undergraduate days ended, I changed my career plans formulated in the second grade: no law school. I took the GRE in a drunken haze in the middle of my final fall semester finals.
Eight months later I found myself in northwest Ohio in a town were drinking establishments outnumbered the residents (it was a step up from cattle). In the next two years I met three best friends, vomited in 8 different bars, and told a bouncer he had a "poor man's job." I went to class and read and wrote papers to be rewarded with my fifth diploma. After 18 years of formal education and 23 years of being a parasite on my parents' income, they insisted I get a job. I stumbled into one in Oregon. They were dumb enough to offer; I was dumb enough to accept. Some days I think the move to the Pacific northwest was one of my more intelligent "life decisions", but I have thought to myself more than once, "What the fuck were you thinking moving out here?!?!"
Now I spend my days listening to Dolly Parton, looking in the mirror, text messaging while driving, and contemplating what to do with my remaining years. Maybe I'll get my Ph.D. and then be a stay-at-home dad. Or maybe I'll accept Oprah's marriage proposal. Or maybe I'll write the great American novel.
Oh, and somewhere along the way, my mom made me gay.
ConnectInterests (63):
60 minutes, academia, alice hoffman, art institute of chicago, art musuems, aviator sunglasses, bill clinton, bookstores, bowling green state university, brothers, cleveland museum of art, country music, democrats, desperate housewives, diet dr pepper, dive restaurants, dolly parton, eulogies, facebook, friends, grammar, hair product, hillary clinton, history, jimmy carter, kansas, kansas city, meet the press, myspace, nelson atkins art museum, obituaries, ohio, opb, oregon, pedicures, phd, philip roth, pi kappa phi, pink, political science, politics, portland, powells books, presidential libraries, professors, public speaking, public television, reading, reba mcentire, running, sisters, speech writing, striped socks, tate modern, text messaging, the gays, tom brokaw, traveling, university of iowa, university of kansas, waverly high school, west wing, writing
External Services:
 | hrhmsh@livejournal.com | |
 | MSHevel |  |
 | michaelhevel |
Schools:
University of Kansas - Lawrence, KS (1998 - 2001)Bowling Green State University - Bowling Green, OH (2001 - 2003)
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